5 Things to Consider Before Recommending a Book
Yes, Even If It’s the Best Book You’ve Ever Read!
The End. You turn the final page and close the book you’ve just finished reading. You take a few moments to gather your thoughts before picking up your phone ready to recommend it to your mum, your sister, your best friend, the new bloke at work and your neighbour’s iguana. After all, the whole world needs to read it, right?
Wrong.
I know, I know, it’s a literary masterpiece and you can’t quite believe you existed in a world without it BUT before you rush off to recommend it to anyone and everyone you’ve ever met, here are five important things you should consider first:
1. Why Do You Like It?
This one’s obvious. For starters, if you do go on to recommend it to others, you’ll need to at least be able to articulate why you think it’s so great. But on a deeper level, this will also help you figure out if it’s likely to have the same impact on someone else as it did on you.
For example, did it speak to you in a very specific way? Did it cover issues that feel personal to you at this time? As readers, we bring ourselves along to each book we open.
If you’re a new parent or a recent divorcee, or if you’ve suffered a bereavement or just started university, and the book touches upon one of these topics, that will likely have impacted your understanding, response and emotional connection to the book. That might not be the case for your friend or colleague whose life looks a little different to yours.
Of course, this isn’t always the case, and lived experience isn’t necessary to connect with a story or the characters, but very few books have truly universal appeal. Each of us carries our own stories within us that affect how we interpret the stories of others.
Often, discovering a book you love is a case of right book, right reader, right time.
2. Is It the Other Person’s Cup of Tea?
Or is it yours?
It’s fine to recommend that your friend try something new but unless they’ve spoken to you about branching out, then a recommendation far outside of their usual comfort zone might feel a bit jarring.
I love receiving book recommendations and I’ll always try to follow up on them but there have been numerous times when a recommendation has been made off the cuff and I’m left feeling that perhaps the person doesn’t really know me that well or understand my tastes.
For example, you’ve just read the creepiest, twistiest most mind-bending and spine-tingling thriller of all-time and you want your best mate to experience the terror for herself. Seems fair, right? But if she normally leans towards cosy crime novels about sleepy English villages or gentle romances with a happy-ending guaranteed, she might not appreciate you dropping a book about a sadistic serial-killer prowling the streets of New York, in her lap.
That doesn’t mean you can’t recommend books to people who don’t share your exact tastes, but perhaps consider if there’s something else you could recommend? Maybe a book that bridges the gap between your favourite genres.
If you enjoy a contemporary setting but they prefer historical- what about a timeslip novel or a story with dual timelines? If you like fiction and they like non-fiction, memoirs and biographies might satisfy your need for narrative and their need for facts.
Book recommendations are not a one-size-fits-all solution and should come from a place of genuinely believing that the other person will enjoy the book as much as you.
3. How Will You Feel If They Hate It?
‘But how could they possibly?’ I hear you cry.
Well, they just might!
If this book means something very special to you, imagine how you’d feel if after reading it, your new boyfriend or girlfriend handed it back to you with a half-hearted shrug and said, “Sure, it was okay.”
What if they don’t manage to finish it? Or what if they never even start it because deep down they know that it’s just not their thing? Will it make you feel differently about them if they don’t enjoy it as much as you? Or worse still, if they actively hate it and want to tell you all the reasons why?
It’s worth considering this before you make the recommendation, even if it’s just to mentally prepare yourself for the heated discussions ahead!
Of course, there is a flip-side to all this. What if you lend them your copy, they love it every bit as much as you and as a consequence never ‘get round’ to giving it back? I’ve lost count of the number of much-loved books I’ve had to replace for this very reason!
4. Do You Just Want Someone to Talk to?
Hey, it’s okay. I get it. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands! Someone you can dissect every chapter or discuss characters with, without feeling silly. Or you need a reading buddy who will countdown the days with you until the next book in the series is released.
If that’s the case, why not try connecting with someone who already loves the book instead of trying to convert your brother or your nan or your Auntie Gill’s dog?
Check the hashtag on twitter, make a Goodreads account, see if the author has a Facebook fan page, start a book club for your preferred genre, or hang out in the library and accost the next person who checks it out (joking, obviously. Please don’t do that!)
There are all kinds of places you can meet fellow bookworms and share the love.
5. Are You Seeking Connection?
Having things in common is something society values highly among friends and family and in long-term relationships.
Chatting about a book you’ve both loved might well bring you closer with this person, but as mentioned above, it might not. That doesn’t mean you can’t connect over books, however. Why not tailor a recommendation specifically for them using what you already know about them? You could even surprise them with a gift of a book you’ve picked out based on their hobbies or interests or books they already own.
Alternatively, you could ask them about their childhood favourites- the first book they loved, or what stories their parents used to read to them at night. Ask them to recommend a book to you- and make a point of reading it, to show that you’re open to new suggestions too.
Books can be a wonderful way to connect with others.
Book recommendations help the literary world go round and I certainly hope that I haven’t discouraged anyone from making them!
Working in libraries for over four years has taught me what a minefield book recommendations can be, the potential pitfalls along the way and the joy for everyone involved when it works out and someone discovers a new favourite as a result.
The more thought you put into a book recommendation, the more of a gift it can be. It becomes less “I love this and you should too!” and more “I read this and thought of you.” And really, who doesn’t love to hear that?
As a librarian and lifelong bookworm, I genuinely believe that there’s a book out there for everyone, it’s just a matter of finding it and getting it into their hands.
Taking these 5 things into consideration before your next book recommendation will increase the chances of that happening and help us all spread the joy of books far and wide (without losing any friends along the way!)
